Dr Olaf McHairy Von Rumpy-Gumpy-Bum
Archaeologist, Pr0n Star, Roleplayer
Dr Rumpy-Gumpy-Bum is one of the founders of modern roleplay, Inventing such concepts as the BRD (Big Rubber Dice), the UPS (Unusually Pointless Stat), the Botch and the Out-Of-Character / In-Character fight.
Dr Von Rumpy-Gumpy-Bum
will be giving a talk to the VAGUE and Paisley teams at 7:30pm at the hotel in Bradford on April 2nd 2005
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Biography
- Born in 1945 he has travelled extensively through Asia, Antarctica, Australia and Amsterdam looking for the solution to the worlds problems before retiring from such hectic pursuits and getting stoned and roleplaying. As he explained, "The Pr0n Baron thing is just a way of getting money in and Archaeology is more a sideline, my real love is Roleplay. And crumpet. I adore cumpet. With hot melted butter. Mmmmmm. I fancy some crumpet right now actually"
- Late in the autumn of 1963 he took on an apprentice named Gary for the purpose of teaching all he knew. After ten minutes he got bored of this and started beating the young Gary with a stick. After 3 years of this Gary got fed up, stole everything he could find in the library and legged it.
- Lost in an expedition in 1988 to discover the Holy Gruel of Romford, Dr Von Rumpy-Gumpy-Bum was presumed dead. He was later discovered six months later wandering the London Underground system trying to find a quicker way to get from Tower Bridge to Mornington Crescent without going via Wapping Central. His results are unclear.
- He did however spend 1994 in a prison in Jersey for slapping a child with a cricket bat but was released in January 1995 when it was discovered that the child deserved it.
- In the spring of 2000 he was presented with the Nobel Prize for "Being a Top-Notch Feller" which he then pawned before leaving the auditorium to buy the first round at the bar. His acceptance speech once the drinks were delivered were short and sweet - "Ta very much, Old Sons."
Books by Dr Von Rumpy-Gumpy-Bum
- Memories of the War (1949)
- Stuff Wot I Have Burnt. (1951)
- Sweary Fuck Sweary with Professor McHairy (1976)
- Sock Puppets & Chainsaws (1980)
- Socio-Political Trends in Mid-Victorian Salford Stemming from Neo-Archaic Evidence. (1982)
- Birds I've Shagged Good And Proper (1998) [Photographic Archive]
- Travels With My Dice. (2001)
- Travels Without My Dice, But Some Crumpet (2002)
Favourite Sayings
- "OI, Fuckwit, I saw that, now give it back or I'll stick this rhino up your arse"
- "Woo! Another Botch! This time use the stick!"
- "Boing... Boing... Boing... Boing... I say!... Boing!... Boing!"
www.vaguenet.com
