DAMN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTER

Spending some time on holiday. I'll be in San Andreas if anyone needs me

Please, in the name of God, i beg of you. If you're voting today in the American Presidential elections please, please, please don't vote for Bush.

I don't think the world could take another four years. I'm sitting here approximately 3549 miles from his desk (as a rough guess) and I'm scared of the man. If the past four years have given us 9/11, constant wars, destruction, the patriot act, the fucking PATRIOT ACT!! Cos he couldn't find Bin Laden he attacks Iraq, what's he gonna do for an encore? This time he'll nuke Kenya? I wonder if he's learned how to pronounce Nuclear?

Ok, preaching over. See you tomorrow.

Looks like Bush has won. I'm not going to accuse anyone of rigged elections, hanging chads, vote rigging, cos i'm sure other people will do that and I'm in no position to do so. I'll just assume it was all fair and above board. Which makes me despair. The only good side I can think of is that by law a president can only 'serve' for two terms, which means he can't come back in another four years. That is if the world is still here and he hasn't amended that law.

One thought though. Who would bet against me if I was to predict another war in late 2007/early 2008 as a ruse to keep the Republicans in power?

Last week I took another foray into the Vaguenet. This time my alias is that of a Giant Russian/West Country Pirate, known for booze and slaughter across the high seas. With a wife in every port and a port in every wife. Or maybe a sherry. Huge and bearded, with a knowledge of tactics, strategy, sailing, and 19 forms of hitting a man.

I am the un-named captain of an un-named ship with a crew of four. And so far the only skills I know my crew have got is whoring and cooking. I think I'll take a really big whip with me. It's amazing how fast people learn when you've got a really big whip. Oh yes, and did you know that Pirates invented grenades?

I've just thought of something Dumb. I'm going to crew my ship with 50 gorgeous beauties, and get another 20 or so not quite so gorgeous to sail it and set to sea as the greatest brothel known in the 7 seas. Yarr.

And my bosun will be a young lassie by the name of Nancy. Or would she be my cabin-girl? I'll have one of those to make sure as well.

So, a while back the Bingle Cannon got brought into existance by the bright sparks over at Phoenix Labs. A Bingle Cannon launches a projectile 'Quo' at the enemy, disorientating and disabling them. I don't have one directly, but since the invention Mark and I have been having a Bingle war. Anytime one of us hears 'Rocking all over the world' over the radio, we ring the other, blast it down the phone at them and score a point.

I'm on my way to work this morning as it comes on, sadly enough on Radio 2 as I'm listening out for the traffic reports. So i instantly ring Mark and blast it at him. Only problem being that it's 7am in the morning and he's fast asleep, or was, he was not best pleased. Now I'm waiting for a retaliatory action. I can but hope my defences are up.

Rock on, my peacemonkeys.

On friday, after a very hard week I managed to get to sleep on the sofa at about eleven at night. When the phone rings. It's Mark and he's in the middle of a shouting competition when he decides to ring me. In the background, no, to be honest drowning out everything within a 20 mile radius is the sound of 40 men shouting 'I like it I like it I like it I like it whooooaaaaaaaa' and Mark claims another point. Which leads me to a worrying thought. I shoot Mark when it comes on the radio, but he actively went to a gig where the band did a cover version of it. (Also, he has an MP3 version on his computer) I think he should be penalized for both, which is probably why he went to see that band on Friday.

Now as I wander happily through Manchester I stopped in Picadilly Gardens as an overwhelming urge came upon me. As I stood there, it wasn't the relentless crowds that brought a smile to my face, nor was it the soap-box Christian talking about God's love. No, what gripped my attention was the Police Transit, sat in the middle of the gardens. Oh, how I desired to jack it, steam over a few pedestrians and do a quick mission with the sirens blaring. Oh Man It Feels Good To Be A Gangster.

Finally I was taking part in the Sniper League last night. My first SpyCraft CCG tournament. Ny first CCG tournament. My first chance to teach people how unworthy they were at the pedestal of my greatness. Taking my deck of playing I strode mightily onto the arena floor. And in truth I havent seen such a pathetic chowing since I beat that nun to death with a bat. I was TOTALLY SLAPPED DOWN. 20-nil all the way. I managed to pull off a brief win on my final match but nothing like what I needed. Reminds me of my A-levels.

Peace and Chicken Grease

OK, so after waiting for so long to get some artwork from the avid fans out there I broke down and hired a professional to do the job. Yesterday I had a true treat for a comic fan like myself. I met John McCrea at Memorabilia, for those of you that don't know his work, He's drawn for Batman, Superman, Hulk, Spiderman, Hitman, and pretty much everybody you can think of. If you want to see some of his work then you only have to look HERE to find his stuff.

Of course, he's also recently been drawing someone that you might recognise, and did this picture for me, and of course this proves that we're now best of friends and I'll be expecting an invite to the pub any day now.

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