Filming in the cold.

Monday 26th November

Now some of you might have heard my feelings towards MySpace in the past. And when I tell you that there's a film currently being made where everything that contributes towards it is down to votes and opinions of MySpace members, you might understand that I'm not exactly going to be that keen on how it turns out. You see, everything from the cast to the script to the director to the toilet roll was chosen by those lovely people who …. You get the idea.

Now what's in production is a wee film called 'Faintheart', which is about a historical battle reinactor who is a member of a Viking society.

You're way ahead of me.

So they called the Vyke. And offered us jobs to play the other Vikings to fill out the battle lines for the battle scenes. Well obviously not the battle lines for the shopping at Woolworths scenes. You get the idea. Now I've got a battle raging inside me. Do I stay at home for artistic integrity? Do I go because of my absolutely enormous need for glory? Do I go because I've got nothing better to do? No, I'll do it for the money. Thank you very much.

Which is why, one sunday Sunday not long ago, I found myself clad for battle with my sword in one hand and my shield in the other stood next to Ewan Bremner in a shieldwall facing down a healthy hoarde of filthy Normans. Led of course by Kevin Eldon. (Spud from Trainspotting and Simon Quinlank respectively. If you don't know who Simon Quinlank is then admit you're an uneducated heathen and go search around on YouTube, I'm sure he'll be there.)

Now from the 4:30am (yes, a.m.) wake up to the 4pm dismissal we were in a moderately damp field, some in armour, all of us needing more sleep, the main cast freezing their feet off with the un-waxed boots. And there I am, dying piece by piece. Not from anything in particular, just in a general way. You know how it is.

You see, because as much as I want to hate it. As much as I want to despise the production, the staff, the cast and the crew, the script, the props, the food, the facilities, the set and the smoke machines… I can't. It's just about one of the more professional crews as I've worked with, and I've worked with a few, both as extra and actor, even though I'm there as a combat specialist this time. Which is a laugh.

But seriously, information is communicated swiftly and efficiently, the cameras take as short a time as possible to set up, nobody in the cast is being a primadonna and nobody wastes time once there is work to be done. In fact with the short daylight available the filming is never put on hold and keeps rolling while different people take their breaks through the day. Best of all is while there is a moment to relax, relax is what people do, it might be cold and in a field and you're choking through smoke, but the sense of humour isn't lost, which is a gratifying thing.

So as I say, as much as I wanted to hate it, I just can't. I'm even looking forward to see if the finished product is any good. It's just possible that it might be enjoyable.