I'm a cheap bastard.

Tuesday 12th August

I have a friend that I talk to on a regular basis

This friend and I argue. A lot.

It could be about anything, but it's generally about video games. Most recently we've been punching each other in the face over the concept of collections and purchasing games for them.

Now she believes that I'm a tasteless pennypincher that would buy any old shit providing that it was cheap enough.

I believe that she's a mindless sheep that would buy any old shit providing some reviewer described it as "omg soooo awwsum, bestest game evarrr!!!!!" which to my mind isn't the most sterling credentials.

And although she'll object to me describing her as a sheep, I'll be man enough to admit that there's a microscopic bit of truth to the assertion.

Which led me on to examining my criteria for purchasing games. See, as I might have mentioned already, I own a few games.

And by that I mean a few hundred.

If you were to name a home games console, it's 95% chance I've got at least one.

If you were to name a game for that console, it's probably 50% chance I've got it. At least if there was a British release. I don't have many import games. That's going a bit too far for now.

So until I start getting paid to play games or people start sending me them for free, then I've got to be careful as to how much I spend on them thus bringing me to my categories. And each game on the shelf will fit into one of these.

1. Games I know I'm going to buy the instant they're released because of it being a sequel or I've played a demo and I've fucking loved every minute.
   GTA. MGS. Phoenix Wright. Monkey Island.
2. Games I've heard a shed-load of good stuff about. I'll wait until it's £20 or less.
   Bioshock, The Orange Box, Okami, FFXII, Hotel Dusk : Room 215, Mario games, Burnout.
3. Games some people love, some people don't, I want to see for myself or have a slot reserved in the collection. Under £10.
   Mario sub-games, Tomb Raider, Mass Effect, Perfect Dark. Halo.
4. £5 or less. Digging through the bargain bins for earlier categories that I've missed or stuff I've not heard of that looks quite fun.
   Micro Machines. Eeternal Ring. Daemon Summoner. The Bouncer.
5. Also £5 or less. Utter, utter crap that I know gets reviews of 1/10 and the like for the black hole collection of the worst that has ever been made.
   Night Trap. Chef's Love Shack. America's 10 Most Wanted. Shaq Fu. ET

That's my standpoint. It's category 4 that disappoints just as often as it delights, but I've found some really good stuff in there too.

Category 5 is a joy to behold because in amongst the piles of outrageous shite the only way to go is up. When you know a game is going to be absolutely atrocious, then any part of it can be unintentionally hilarious. A10MW is so funny in it's rampant bigotry and dire programming that you can go back to it again and again. I might come back to that for you sometime.

But for now, instead of calling me a cheap bastard, why not look at the pre-owned section and pick up two great games that are slightly older for the same price as the brand new one in your hand?

Oh, and to she that I argue with …. Baaaaaa