Like a wordy oasis in a desert of nothingness

Friday 30th January

You might think that I've not updated in a while. And indeed you would be right. In fact you'd be amazed to hear that not only have I not had writers block, but I have an amazing number of things I have to tell you about. All of which I would be fascinating and erudite and more importantly, I'll have opinions and some of them will involve violence.

See, I could go about and apologise for not updating. I could beg forgiveness from my loyal readership. But we all know that's not going to happen and you'd be an imbecile for thinking such a thing. But since I have a low expectation of the mental capacity of most people in the universe then I'll not be stressed about it. Especially since I've started more than a couple of sentences in this post with a conjunctive, so who am I to talk?

Anyway, as I said I have much to talk to you about.

New-years resolutions. Every new year I make a new list. I never bother with it, but it's worth thinking about the thought process behind each of my unresolved resolutions and how far I get with each of them.

Batman is dead. No, really. I've been reading Batman ever since he got his spine snapped in 1994, and there have been some good stories and some bad. The death of Batman was utter shit and he wasn't even dead at the end of it. But he is now. I'd like to sit you down and tell you more about how this nightmarish pile of crap resolves.

Pretty much the most major reason why I've not been writing here is because most of my time has been taken up with sorting out the nationals. So I'll tell you what's happened, what can't happen and why I spent 3 hours searching for a guy only known as 'Extar the Impossible'. That was a fun day.

My dad's retired now. He used to work with me many miles from where we both live. So we car-pooled. Now he's retired, my job doesn't look like it's going to last much longer and I hate the 3 hour round-trip drive every day. So I'm starting a new life. Starting with writing. Yes, I know the irony is breathtaking.

Fallout 3. Quick lesson in scale. Bobblehead's are quite small. Something like 3 inches high. The world is quite large. Something like 150 billion inches square. So the aim of the game is to find 20 bobbleheads in the entire world. Even with my magical powers that's not easy. So that was my quest. Oh yes, and some meandering story about an apocalyptic wasteland too.

Faintheart. I'm in a film. I'm even credited, with my name, at the end. It's quite cool actually. Tell you later. But if you actually see it, no I can't remember what I was saying there at the end.

GM Guidebook. Why did the aliens attack in 1973? What happened to the ark of the covenant? Where can I get a decent dicebag? None of these questions will be answered as I pitch about worthless and random ideas on how GMing works. Really, it's not like I ever attended a class on this stuff.

The Pie Won't Die. Why do people keep sending me hate-mail? I'll have to resolve this once and for all. I think I'm going to have to go back to Denby Dale.

VagueNet is 5 years old. Nobody noticed and nobody cares. But it is. The only reason why I missed it this year is because it didn't collapse in a heap. Big Woo-Hoo for me though.

So yeah, February might, and I say might, have one or two of these subjects covered. But you'll have to wait until next month to see.