Help me, shoot me or get out of my way

Monday 16th February

Writers block is not a very easy beast to overcome.

I have a new sort of pain in my life

Thursday 19th February

My bellybutton hurts.

This bothers me.

It's not related to my crohn's disease because I'd have had it before, but my bellybutton is sore and has been for three days now. And I don't know why.

Is it my cat who's been secreting it's pocket money in there in the middle of the night while I've been asleep?

Is it my belt-buckle and I've been sitting in awkward positions for long enough for my bellybutton to have a lasting physical reaction to it?

Or have I contracted it from someone or somewhere else? What is the communicability of bellybutton contagions? Are they airborne? What is the exposure rate? Is it a specific terrorist anthrax attack? Have I been infected with the objective of becoming the apocalypse's patient zero?

Or is it something more benign but somehow more creepy?

Are there mites and crawlies that inhabit bellybuttons? is there a tiny invisible alien that can live in the socket and mate with other bellybutton aliens on their flights out thus spreading alien sexually transmitted bellybutton infections?

Studies must be done! We should all spend time contemplating our navels.

The world could depend on it.