A Party Political Broadcast

Wednesday 5th May

I'm going to break from the traditional spoutings of random violence and in-jokes for a minute and talk about politics for a moment. I feel it's time with the general election tomorrow to express my feelings.

See, this is one of the few times that the colonies have it easy. They have two parties to choose from, the Democrats and the Republicans. Neither of which name means very much, but they're very much the left and the right of political theory and so it's nice and easy to choose between them and you know where you stand.

The Democrats believe in free-speech, abortion rights, gun control, gay rights and so on; whereas the Republicans believe in the right to have loads of guns, pro-life, tax cuts and the patriot act. It's simple, the left or the right with very little middle ground. Or you can throw away your vote on an independent.

In this country it's not so simple. You have the Conservative party that did make England strong during the 80s as well as made most people unemployed, shut down the mines, sold off the rail network to private companies and made everybody so miserable that the name Thatcher is still as close to Hitler as you can get in this country. Then you have the Labour party who created NHS direct (a concept that may well have saved my life), knocked the Tories out of power, calmed down the Northern Ireland struggles and then sent us into a huge recession and allowed the banks to do what they feel like.

So you have reasons to hate both. It's on the issues that things get muddied, or to be precise, cloned. I have no idea where either party stand on anything. They both think the hospitals are failing, so will put more money in them. They both think that schools could do better, so will invest more money in education. They both think that we should have a strong military force, so will keep them strong, probably with more money. Nobody wants to say anything about tax. They both feel the needs of the homeless, the elderly, the sick, the home-owners, the unemployed, the scroungers. Neither wants to say much about immigration. Both had their hands slapped hard during the MPs expenses scandal.

So we have a two party system that I cannot tell would be any different if one were in power or the other. How frustrating is that? They've both had the job before and they've both royally screwed the country in various ways and they've both helped the country in other ways. If you were looking over their CVs they would both be marked with 'Years of experience but a bit prone being shit at times.'

Now a few weeks ago I would have left you with that, but since then I have been bombarded from many sides with various calls of action, all leading to the same premise. Spoil your ballot paper. Don't vote. Vote Loony Party. None of the Above.

As a mark of protest all it says to anyone is that you are angry. And yes, if a few hundred thousand people do that then it will be noted that a few hundred thousand people are angry, and so the government may decide to look into it. The point being that the government of the day will be decided by people who actually vote. In essence how much action do you think a Labour or Conservative party government will take to please those people who vehemently didn't vote for them, or anyone?

None at all would be my guess.

Once a new party is in power, they will be there for four or five years, and will not care a tinkers cuss about spoiled ballot papers until the next general election. You're not a swing voter or a marginal constituency, you're not affecting the ballot in any way at all. Protest, yes, I agree fully with what you're saying it, but protest properly. Marches, letter campaigns, demonstrations. If you want to protest, that is how you do it. Now is the time to vote and with your vote you can do some good.

Vote Liberal Democrat.

We, the people of this country have a two party system because that is what we have allowed ourselves. There is a third choice, and right now you can scare the cloned two parties into thinking about themselves by booting both of them out and allowing the new boy into the ring.

I am not a Liberal Democrat. I've never voted for them before and I don't know if I will vote for them again, but simply on the grounds that I remember the horror of the 80's and I've seen the rise and fall of the Labour party. I don't want either of them until they figure out what they stand for.

I don't know if the Lib Dems will do a good job. They've never done it before but I believe that once they get in they'll think hard about doing a good job so they have a chance of staying in power.

Give them a chance and tomorrow, if your distrust and dislike of Labour and Conservative is enough to not want either then give your vote to someone who has a chance of pushing them both aside for the first time.

Vote Liberal Democrat.