Who says I don't look scary?

Thursday 8th July

OK, so here's how it happened.

Yesterday was supposed to be a nice quiet day. It really was. I was going to get up, do some writing, have a nice light lunch and write some more. Then maybe play some games later on in the day and an early night.

That was the plan.

Unfortunately the plan went out of the window at breakfast when I realised I had an early dentist appointment. I don't like dentists. No, I like my dentist, he's a great bloke, but I'm not keen on dentists in general. Being flat on my back while somebody operates on part of my skull while I'm still awake and looking at him?

Not keen.

Anyway, there I am, freshly buffed and happy and the first action of the day is to go get a filling done. Great. So I park in Sainsbury's car park and womble over to the dentist, get numbed up and drilled and everything's fine, yes? Time to go home and do some writing?

Well, no.

See, I thought I could take the opportunity while out to get some other bits and pieces done at the same time, even though I'm not in the cheeriest of moods. Sainsbury's is next since I had to buy something to use their car park for free (they have this ticket system at that one to make sure) so I thought "I know, I'll get a bit more booze for the weekend" (you know, my birthday party). So that's what I did, bought a fresh case of WKD. (though not the Blue Bols and the Red Bull yet).

Which obviously was a mistake to lift with only the one hand since it threw out a muscle in my shoulder, making me lurch for a while. Never mind, I've overcome worse, my finger is now well on the road to healing and only vaguely resembles a claw.

Next stop was B&Q because with the party I thought I could make some extra props for games, and with the wood at home I could make some Viking Games, which would involve turning a broom handle into shorter hand sized pegs and some rope goodies for silly games. But I needed some more tools to do it properly, including a hand axe and obviously the rope.

Now, imagine you're working on the checkout at B&Q. It's a normal day, as days go. You've seen the kids off to school, you've got to work on time and the foot traffic is kinda light. When all of a sudden a six foot tall balding monster lurches in front of you with a puffy face and one hand twisted up into a claw, and in the other hand he's carrying a hatchet, some rope and a sharpening block. To add to the mental image he can't operate his mouth properly and his words seem blurred and maybe even with a touch of drool.

Yeah, I'd have called the police too.